A silent cry...

The current death toll is 55 000 people.

Man is really helpless in the destructive face of nature, her fury once unleashed is fast, fatal and unforgiving.

Meanwhile, my countrymen are whining about holiday plans gone spoilt. For once, I have no more anger towards such said fellow citizens, what is left is only pity for the emptiness of their souless beings. Oh I forgot, Mammon and the God of Litigation Kuan Yew are their saviours.

Sigh.

Cries ringing out through the falling sky,

desperation and fear the only companions,

for hope hath forsaken the once lush land.

Foul stench permeates the tattered cloths,

lingering in the air, carcasses all, strewn about,

the clear blue sky, a ironic mockery.

Have a Merry Pissin Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Well, the catchphrase of the day at this time of the year, every year. Just came back from a party, small gathering of people and lots of makan. Feel so shitty, have never ever contribute to any thing although for today, it was kind of a last minute thing since I was only informed like a day ot two beforehand and I can't cook for nuts and I work like more than 10 hours a day just to get 50 bucks a day, leaving me with very little time and energy to do anything nice.

My ONLY present of the year came from the 3 network, they were giving out good deals, giving me a phone if I pay 21 bucks a month for the next 24 months (technically there's no contract) and throwing in a DVD player if I pay an extra of 3 bucks a month for the first 3 months. How's that for a christmas pressie?

I may have to adopt a new nick: the Piss-anator...hahaha lameass nick, I know. Why? Cos been pissing not a few people already...for starters, there's the CASOC coordinator who should be pissed at me for not collecting the bloody cheque for that bloody paintball SSA event that was late in getting to me and subsequently I was told by a recently ex-president that I should buck up as a fucking CASOC rep. Right, as if I live on campus 24/7.

Then there's this other friend, who was pissed at me for not giving him the due respect he felt should be accorded to him in front of other people and decided to give me the shits by telling me in the most brusque way that the potential opening at the bloody R.E.X airline was not available through email. Thank you ECON 2112.
Of course, everyone forgets that everyone else did nice things for some other people at one point or another, this explains why we all keep scoreboards. Don't wanna talk too much about it since had just talked about it and I feel too tired to bitch about it.

And I should be pissing off my own mom and sis back in Singapore by the very virtue of my exam results, this would be the most effortless one. And I am late almost every morning for work...well not always very late, late means late eh, no excuse, my boss cum family friend is a nice gentle man, sigh.

H.M Tan, fugly, ugly, sloby, pissa-nator, that's me.

Have a Merry Christmas.

-----------------------------------------

Been getting the email refreshing sydromne too lately...wondering why.

Norah Jones!!!

She's coming to Sydney to perform on the March 26th!!!

I wanna goooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

I also want to bang bang too...

Friend of friend @ Kingsford bus stop:

A colleague of mine at the hotel front desk was telling me that after work, he had a bang bang with this swedish co-worker somewhere in the hotel.

Friend: What is bang bang?

Me: Wow, that's nice. (Wanted to ask myself whether the friend of friend had bang bang chances with his co-workers/hotel guest but hadn't had the chance to ask, tsk how asian of me)

Me: We should also go and apply for work at the hotel.

Hmm now, where to find the exotic tanned blond hair ang mohs for bang bang...sigh I also want to bang bang...hehe I am human too!

A little bugbear...

One thing I cannot really stand is the insistent calls for the university places in Singapore to be given much more widely for polytechnic graduates. Such calls often border on the emotive appeal that such said graduates deserve a place just simply because of the perceived lack of equal opportunity among other reasons.

Polytechic education is defined as a post secondary education or if one wants to be more anal, advance vocational training. However it does not detract from the risks that most 'A' level students take and the more intense pressure they undergo in order to qualify for a local university place in Singapore.

One could also point to the scholar churning machineries of RJC/HCJC et al as proof that 'A' level students are too exam smart to be of any practical use in the world and that a poly graduate would trump them any time of the day when it comes down to hands on experience. This, to me, is just like saying a New Zealand apple's sweetness trumps a Sunkist Orange's sweetness any time of the day. Which is essentially incomparable.

Arguments for expansion of univeristy places for poly students by citing examples of successful polytechnic graduates doing well overseas is somewhat of a moot point I think. I guess I can understand the frustrations of having to go overseas to do a degree but hey it affords one another kind of unique experience be it lifestyle or education, that one would not be able to obtain at home.

If those graduates stayed on elsewhere to make their own life, hey, it is called choice making. Golly, I don't think they should waste their time away grudging the same system that, although, drove them away initially but ironically gave them another shot in another system that help them made good. They can always go back to Singapore and earn their thousands/millions, no one is forcing them to stay away.

Ok, end of rant. The offending article below.




From Todayonline (13/12/2004):

Poly graduates deserve half of places at local universities
There are three universities in Singapore, but the majority of their students are A-level graduates.
.
With three A-level passes, students qualify for a degree course in any of the three institutions.
.
For polytechnic students, however, even with a diploma and industrial training experience, they can enter the local universities only if they are among the top five per cent at their schools.
.
As a result, A levels are often regarded as the only route to acquiring a degree.
.
What I do not understand is: Why only the top 5 per cent of poly grads? Shouldn't equal opportunity be given to both cohorts?
.
The universities could set aside half of their intakes for JC students and the other half for poly students.
.
The current situation results in a loss of talent, specifically polytechnic graduates who are proficient both in theory and practice.
.
Those unable to get to university here seek opportunities aboard and, upon graduating, some continue to live abroad.
.
We have heard plenty about overhauling the Chinese Language curriculum.
.
I hope changes regarding the intake of university students will be proposed at the next sitting of Parliament.
.
.
Janice Ng

Overdue update...

It's been a long while since my last update however going to keep this brief.

Just came back from Maroubra beach trying to catch some meteor showers that is suppose to happen tonight and apparently the best time to catch it is between 2 am to 4 am but my friend from Singapore have to go back to rest for a 8am trip up to Blue Mountains. He just drove back and I guess I'll pop my head out in a while after a shower and short internet surfing to see if I could catch any more.

Am very glad that this friend of mine actually turned up here in Sydney, after 2.5 years here in Australia and having one good friend back from Singapore here for a short reunion is quite worth the wait I say. His wish made at the shooting stars is to be a millionaire by next year, well, a very lofty aim but I wish him well and among all my other friends I know, he is one of the better equiped ones to be a rich bastard.

Academic results were the pits this semester, failed one subject and had a pass conceded for a core. I shall stop attempting to make resolutions this coming new year...quite a bummer everytime I do so anyway.

To top it off, been sending off at least a couple of good friends at the airport recently...bleah return train ticket from the airport costs a hefty $15.10 each time...sigh...holes holes holes in pocket man..but what to do, I like my friends.

Well, then, hopefully all goes well for everyone else for Christmas and New Year!

Shitty times indeed

Hahahahaha, just what I need, another confirmation that the venerable 'institution' whose product is mostly used by fishmongers and vegetable vendors indeed deserve to be called the propaganda times instead.

The link.

Update

Exams now.

Don't feel like studying for the rest of the papers cause my first one sucks so much.

I'll probably have to break the baaad news to my family back home. Woo hoo. I have become the prodigal son again. I don't think the reasoning my friend espoused would sit well with them: that we pay so much to study here is for the experiences and not the degree in the end. Hiazzz. Here is where I'll be judged by the typical Singaporean mentality (well, debatable somewhat) that your whole life is determined by the grades you get. Such is life.

Anyway, not making any excuses for anything, just ranting, that is all.

Chen Weiming, yao zeng qi yi dian...

I am a...

[insert profanities] lazy student.

Hee hee hee

Due to a power failure Unimail is currently unavailable. We are working to restore service as soon as possible. We apologise for the inconvenience.

@*#*@&@!)!

Damn day light savings...rob me of one hour of sleep...@*&!*&#*.

Oh the other hand, I look forward to bright and sunny at 7-8 pm.

Bored out of my mind

Hmmmm...

Myers Briggs Ideal vs. Real Test Introversion 26% 46% Extroversion 63% 56% Intuitive 63% 43% Sensing 70% 43% Feeling 43% 56% Thinking 80% 46% Judging 86% 40% Perceiving 40% 53% ideal you real you ideal type - ESTJ, real type - ENFP

Take Free Myers Briggs Ideal vs. Real Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Quote of the day

"What I do today is important because I will never have today again"

-Tan Jian Sheng- (Not Me).

It's the time of the year again

Yeah...the dreaded E word, Exams.

Sigh. I like sighing on my blog ok people, stop asking why I sigh so much. It's just like asking why do you use your eyes to see all the time.

Anyway, it's just this surreal feeling that usually strikes me after a trip (such as a camping trip or long overseas assignment); the one where I usually pinch myself to say, yeah, the experience I was having is over, wake up.

Ephemeral.

I was showering and just then, all the memories of all the road trips and holidays I had this year came flashing back. Ok, it wasn't vivid and clear like the movies but yeah I do remember the feelings I had during the trips.

A little smile.

Disregarding all the negatives, like a bag of rotting potatoes.

It was all good. I don't regret one single bit having to dig out some gold here and there to finance my activities this year. Although it does mean I have to start the ardous voyage of prospecting for new gold.

As the MasterCard jingle silently shrills out: the experiences, priceless.

Hot News???

Todayonline labels this: "PAP turns 50" (Paulo, Derrick, A., Today Weekend, October 23, 2004) as Hot News.

Me Green? Hehe

Green You are a very calm and contemplative person. Others are drawn to your peaceful, nurturing nature. Find out your color at Quiz Me!

Quoteworthy

From Priji quoting DH Lawrence:

All I ask of a woman is that she shall feel gently towards me
when my heart feels kindly towards her,
and there shall be the soft, soft tremor as of unheard bells between us.

It is all I ask.I am so tired of violent women lashing out and insisting on being loved,
when there is no love in them.

Should I or should I not?

I so want to go for an internship, not because I want to be a free slave but rather I want to apply the things I learnt or at least immerse myself in some of the work that I forsee myself possibly going into in the near future (read: 2-3 years time).

Sigh, the curse of feeling inadequacy strikes again, now all the what ifs keep on popping up in my head.

*Must think positive, must think positive, must think positive...."

Ruminative diary is baaaaad

Something interesting. Ok I really should be getting down to my work.

----------------------------------

17:00 08 September 04

NewScientist.com news service

Keeping a diary is bad for your health, say UK psychologists.

They found that regular diarists were more likely than non-diarists to suffer from headaches, sleeplessness, digestive problems and social awkwardness.Their finding challenges assumptions that people find it easier to get over a traumatic event if they write about it.

“We expected diary keepers to have some benefit, or be the same, but they were the worst off,” says Elaine Duncan of the Glasgow Caledonian University. “In fact, you’re probably much better off if you don’t write anything at all,” she adds.

The study, carried out with David Sheffield of Staffordshire University, was presented on Wednesday at a meeting of the British Psychological Society in Edinburgh.Cathartic processThe pair studied 94 regular diarists and compared their health with that of 41 non-diarists.

The subjects, all students at Staffordshire University, answered questions about their diary-keeping habits, and filled in a standard health questionnaire.“We decided to test the idea that writing is cathartic,” says Duncan.

She claims that her study is the first to investigate subjects who write of their own free will. In most other studies, volunteers are actually asked to write about traumatic experiences in a systematic way.

The researchers asked the diarists recruited to say how often they made entries and for how long they had kept diaries. They were also asked if they had written about anything traumatic.Statistically, the diarists scored much worse on health measures than the non-diarists.

And worst affected of all were those who had written about trauma. “They were most susceptible to headaches and the like,” says Duncan.

Ruminative cycle

Although she does not have proof, Duncan speculates that diarists buck the usual trend because instead of a single, cathartic outpouring to offload trauma, diarists continually churn over their misfortunes and so never get over them. “It’s probably better not to get caught in a ruminative, repetitive cycle,” she says. But she acknowledges that her experiment could not demonstrate which came first - the diary writing or the health problems.

In a forthcoming experiment, she hopes to explore this by asking volunteers new to diary writing to report exclusively positive or negative things, to see if the health of the two groups diverges.Andy Coghlan

Late thingy on Australian Federal Elections

Ok, this is for my friend who was very upset by the results of the Australian Federal Elections.

Posting an article/letter written by her in the immediate aftermath, the only editing done is to the paragraphing:



The Australian election

My name is Mimi Zilliacus, I am a student studying history and politics
at the University of New South Wales in Australia.

Today I am very depressed. Yesterday my fellow citizens
re-elected John Howard, a man who has lied to the Australian people on numerous occasions on issues of much more importance than his sex life.

Why you might ask would the Australian people want this man back in
Parliament. Well that’s a very good question.

The reason is the money. He has claimed to be responsible for the
growth in the economy and for lower interest rates, and on top of that he has promised to bring in tax cuts for a select few.

What the general public fails to understand is that the growth in the economy and
interest rates are also dependant on what is going on in the global market place. They fail to see that a “free trade” agreement with the US is going f#$% us over, we will be the underdogs and America will be free to benefit at great costs to us, the Australian people.

I believe in human rights and that Australia should be fulfilling its
obligations under international law. I believe that war is never going to create less of a terrorist threat, it creates more. I believe that Australia should not
be stealing oil from a country which has risked so much to become
democratic and which is struggling to re-build itself. I believe that there is no justification for locking up children.

I believe that these things are more important than the state of the economy.
Prior to the election I went to a rally against the lies of the Howard
government. It was fantastic, 7,000 people marched through the streets of Sydney. There was a great atmosphere. I don’t know anyone who voted for Howard. And here in lies the point, we need to find a way to educate the masses, those people who didn’t go to the rally, and don’t go to any rallies.

The cab drivers, labourers, and ordinary Australians who are just trying to make a living and don’t really care, or don’t have the time to care, about international politics.
Those who read only main stream media and believe what they read. We need to be able to communicate to them, to say to them we are not all a bunch of tree hugging hippies and
actually what happens in international politics does affect their everyday lives. That in the broader perspective a tax cut and lower interest rates are not going to help when we no longer have free health care, the cost of medicines triples, are pharmaceutical and agricultural industries cannot compete with American, even in our own backyard, and when only the elite
can afford to go to university. That actually the cost of mandatory detention is far greater than any other alternative. Even if every one who is currently in a detention centre
were in the community and being given welfare it would still cost less than detention.

I need to do something, but at the moment I don’t know what to do, I
feel powerless, but there has to be something that I can do. Got any ideas? I am not sure who I am going to send this to, but to anyone who wants to help me all assistance would be greatly appreciated. Australia is supposed to be a democracy but democracy doesn’t work without a well informed public. With this in mind I want help to come up with a way to educate the public, and especially those people who see “left” as being a bad thing. Because I cannot live through another three years of Howard without some hope that we can change things, and because I think that this is a similar problem in many other countries.

Been converted

I am so going to abandon FM 106.5 now. Well, not entirely but for most of the time now.

For those of you still in Sydney and are somewhat jaded with mainstream music, please tune in to FM 94.5.

Whew. My soul is once again saved by this little band aid.

Great party and strange conversation

Just got back from Circular Quay and oh boy, last night's party was one of the bestest I ever had, not least because I had the least duty and also because of the ability to let loose. Heh. More on that later if I feel like it.

After the party, went to the only 24 hour restaurant in Circular Quay for supper/brekkie. On the way there in a cab, was strangely engaged in a conversation that I never thought I would have with the taxi driver, not especially after a dance party at 3 am.

He was talking to me about the benefits of the bi-lingual policy in Singapore and advocates the view that the Chinese people are impressed with the results and are adopting the same mindsets with regards to the policies in China; apparently he thinks its the half democracy system in Singapore that also makes it palatable for the Chinese to adopt instead of the Western model, Americana example exemplar.

Oh man indeed.

Gotta Zzzzzzz...laterz people.

Party tonite

Woo hoo...yeah you could tell I am really excited.

Yeah, get to see the shadows of those who smiles and says yeah, but comes crunch time, I can see the kite flying up a mile high.

"..Ti oor oor, buay lor hor..."

I am surrounded by wonderful people. Yeah.

Duh.

ON a more positive note, I get a free dinner tonight.

Reminder to meself

One thing good about blogs is that it can function as a public diary to remind me/us/people of the work I/we/everyone need to do.

So here goes:

International Buisness 1102: One group report on cross-culture leadership in the U.S. and compare it with Indonesia. Group meeting this Friday morning, DO MY PART!!!

Economics 3120: One essay worth 40% on how and what simplicity in econometrics is about. Print out the readings and read the bloody books I borrowed. Due 24th October I think.

Philosophy 1010: My weak subject this semester. Got to do a paper on Kitty Genovese's murder and a whole bunch of logic exercise...sian. Panic mode cos its due next Wednesday. Reminder, act sad and stress to gain sympathy to get extension of assignment!!!

SLSP 2002: One and a half page paper with Zenia, taking on the role of hospital managers, about healthcare issues and hospitals. Due this Wednesday.

Choices we make

Tonight, I saw something that I did not really expect to see and it was a scene that left me speechless. It was a moment of awakening and like a splash of freezing cold water to the face on a winters day.

Although to any other outsider who knows the situation somewhat, they would have seen it coming but I guess I intentionally left myself out of the loop. But still, it disarmed me to the extent that the only thing I could choose to do was to avoid.

Sure, the approach taken was somewhat crude and lack graciousness expected of a man. But hey, I am human too, so let me have the time of the day to myself, the way that I want to acknowledge how I felt.

What made it worse was the fact that I felt like a fool, well, not to be too beating myself about it but I think any other reasonable guy would feel the same were he in my shoes, perhaps except for Adrian (winkz). I can eventually accept the two of you together but please, do not in my face, act, or worse, pretend that everything is normal, fine and dandy, with all the innocence in the world.

Give me a little respect please. Even if I don't deserve it but maybe, just maybe, pretend that I do and should get some. What was your point of saying sorry? There is no way that anyone can heal it with just apologies.

Although to be fair, it is not hers nor his perogative to do so.

I just wanted to get home on the bus today but I got one of the biggest lesson here in Aust, it isn't pretty and the 'tuition' fee was much more than what I expected.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a separate note, I also found out tonight someone was just accommodating me for quite a while. I don't know what to say or feel about it.

The scars are still fresh and the wind still bites.

Can we ever go back to the good old days?
I wish we could.

Things happen.
We all make various choices earlier and the effects of those choices culminated to this day.

Is it bad or good?
I do not know.

Was innocence sacrificed?
Was there any in the first place?

We all put on masks.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Am I still immature? Possibly so.

No wonder so many of the people at a party two days back were giving me strange looks.

"Haha, you fool."

Baka.

Pink Theme Party

Gothic Pink, you like?

Spying eye

Melbournian Dream

Numbness

Think this numbness thingy have been in great demand lately, not only with me but many other people around me...sheesh this is contagious man.

Called back home after such a long while but same pattern emerges again: the one who gave birth to me nagged at me on why I call back after so long and when I wanted to ask for my brother, mom turned her attention as to WHY I only called after he left...if this is conversation I rather not have it. As usual my mood-swing mechanism, as 'she' often calls it, kicked in and everything thereafter wasn't that pretty but yeah no one got yelled at or anything. Nothing new.

As I was saying something about the numbness thingy, my medication have been to play the song by Maroon 5 on repeat mode. I actually don't need to be so numbed this time round since the result was something that I already knew, just that this was something I have to do personally myself.

No, my world ain't going to come crashing down nor is it drastically turned into shades of dreary gray. It just isn't that colourful. I need to sterilise the memories, not eradicating them, just have to make them hold neutral feelings.

Or maybe I might opt for a lobotomy (noun : surgical interruption of nerve tracts to and from the frontal lobe of the brain; often results in marked cognitive and personality changes).

Not feeling anything now.

SHE WILL BE LOVED

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehowI want more
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get insecure
It doesn't matter anymore
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along

My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls


Forgot to attribute it to the band call Maroon 5.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's finally done.

I have had a very good trip, more so than I previously thought I would. More on it later. Ta.

Reading list...

Odds or even? You make a decision here.

How we are why we are? Here.

Costs me about nearly 50 bucks here. Yeah keeping the habit is expensive here man...no wonder I read so little nowadays.

D n D

D n D = Dinner and dance or Do Not Disturb?

Sigh and will probably be homeless in Melbourne soon if I don't do anything soon...bleah.

And most ironically, recent events in my life seems to parallel some of the lessons or critical thinking I am supposed to learn in Philosophy 1010. I wonder.

But like my friend said, perphaps I been thinking too much lately. So that probably counts for nothing. Oh well, Melbourne here I come...for the third time again.

Mood: Excited

Chim Book

Hmmm something useful for me when I clear all my stuff later on I suppose...getting tired of whinny asian girls/women. Yeah.

My very adorable and naughty rabbit back home. Picture courtesy of my brother. Sobs, I miss him so much (the rabbit not my brother).

Thoughtful cheena words

幸福要自己去感受﹐不是別人看到的樣子。
了解自己是什麼樣的人﹐比別人怎麼看你重要

Flights of fancy 

Hmmm...many many pennies for thought

Here.

My parting note

SSA Sports 2004 Report

2004 has been a fruitful and busy year for us. There were a few major activities spread out through the year and it is with the support of our members that we could participate and organise some of these.

The first major event was the AISA games which is organised by the International Students Services to promote better relationships between the many international students organisations/clubs in the university. We participated in badminton, football, basketball and volleyball and we are pleased to report we came in second overall after the Indonesian Students Association.

The next major event we took part in was the Wollongong Games. We chartered a bus and took up a football team together with the team from University of Sydney’s Club Singapura. It was a fulfilling day even though the weather was gloomy and overcast the whole time we were there and it is noteworthy that a more active interaction between the SSAs from the universities in the Sydney metropolitan area and Wollongong University is encouraged with sporting activities.

We also took part in the 7 aside football tournament organised by the Asian Sports Association, we managed to reach the semi finals.

The last major event was the National Day Games jointly organised by UNSW SSA Sports and USYD Club Singapura. We took part in both the basketball (male/female) and 6-aside football tournament. Our ladies did us proud by clinching the gold medals with their wonderful performance against USYD.

Other points to note:

There were feedbacks from some members that it would be better if other activities like tennis/beach volleyball could be held. Their comments are much appreciated and we will endeavour to organise other sporting events on both competitive and friendly basis with other student clubs and/or SSA of other universities.

We hope that members could be more forthcoming with the events they wish to take place and we will give our best efforts to organise and support to make it come through.

In concluding, the sports directors would like to give their thanks and appreciation to the executive committee for giving their support and commitment for all the events and activities, and lastly, the SSA committee would like to thank all the members who gave their time and support to participate in the games throughout the year, it would have been impossible without their support.

Rules...

THE RULES OF BEING HUMAN

You will die,
and therefore
everything you do in this life
will be of no consequence.

You come with nothing
and you will leave with nothing.


Disclaimer: This piece came from here.

Chick Flick Trauma

Abandoned my dying overdued assignment last night for a movie with some friends.

It was a Chick Flick that comes with the usual works, nothing particularly outstanding except for the goosebumps it comes with at certain oh-I so-know-what's-going-to-happen-next scenes. Its a good movie to take a date/girlfriend out with if one don't mind the accompanying comments later like:" Oh How I wish my wedding is like this", "Why don't you ever treat me like this?" etc.

But I don't have one, so its a moot point. Haha.

Michael Jackson must be "thrilled" to have his Thriller featured quite a fair bit throughout the movie, yeah, the royalties will save a little of his tender little ass from some million dollars of debts he owes I reckon.

Oh the movie is Suddenly 30.

Yes, I love Jennifer Garner. Mmmmm....muscular sexy back...drools.

Went on to the Regent for a few rounds of beer after the flick. It was both interesting and entertaining. Nice friends I have.

Saw my first fist fight in Australia by Stupid when Drunk White Males. Woo hoo!

Must say I discover once again my knack for the mathematical game of 5-10-15-20... Hehe.

Laterz. Gotta attempt resuscitation procedures on ASS-signment.

Field of Dreams 

So strange and yet so familar

Mobius strip anyone?

All the things that happened and that is going to happen, seems like its repeating itself in an infinite loop, just little variations that occur stochastically to make it seem different each time. I guess this is what they mean by Deja Vu (I don't care for spelling it correctly, so those pedantic ones can go consume bovine wastes).

My hair is growing out again. Sian. Just going to ignore it until before the Dinner and Dance.

My SLSP is going to the shits as far as I know my own situation.

And I begin to detect a pattern of the various interactions that people have with me recently. Does being an tunnel expressway that is not wanted anywhere rings a bell?

Sigh.

Feel so sick...

I feel so sick at myself. And I feel sick and unwell. Am I just a little unwell or am I just sinking into a hole that I dug for me, myself and I?

Well done...

in one little brief stroke, I was branded as a rumour monger.

Sigh.

No fault of anyone.

Just 'marvelling' at the recklessness of it all.

I got to study.

--------------------------------------------------------

This reminded me of a little memory that I thought I have buried long long long ago.

It was way back when I was still in primary four.

No one wanted to be the class monitor and because I was the 'helpful' one in class. I was made one by the form teacher.

That was in the first week of the new school term.

But one day, I forgot to bring in a piece of homework.

The form teacher, whether she was livid or not I forgot, but I think I vaguely remembered her words to the effect that I was not a good example and then promptly stripped me of the 'title' there and then.

Now back then being a Class 'insert-whatever-you-fancy-title' was a big deal and especially if that one gives you authority to keep the class quiet when the teacher wasn't around.

Getting stripped of that 'powerful' title, now that was tramautising for a nine and a half years old kid.

Today just brought back one of those feelings.

I think...

it is getting increasingly easier about not caring what others need or want.

Why?

At the expense of my own?

For what?

Altruism?

Friendship?

I wonder.

Once someone told somebody who kept on passing the message on until it reached my ears, that friendship is after all a nicer way to make use of each other.

Of course the message has been distorted by the time I post this here. Hell, even I don't know it anymore.

Life sucks.

Therefore go have a Chupa Chups.

---------------------------------------------------------

On the Russian School Children Hostages Crisis.

I am so sorry for all the bastardy things that the adults in this world ever cared to inflict on innocent children.

Those bastards and bitches should die a painful death.

There is no reason or rhymne as to any justification that those bastards and bitches can take to do such a terrible thing.

Fuck this.

...

Care not, want not.

Pray not, wish not.

Take not, give not.

Say not, think not.

Try not, fall not.

Stay not, linger not.

Laugh not, cry not.

Hate not, love not, hurt not.

Of the cold night...

Darkness. Crept up silently.

So gently did it tread.

Warmth. Yanked away so suddenly.

The stars had shone so brightly, gently.

Like the hope of a distant land.

And it hailed.

So harshly, so majestically.

The Wind. Bored down to the marrow.

Lightning. Pierced through my eyes.

So blinding and yet so softly.

A Song. Rang through the heavy formless air.

Woeful and despair were its theme.

A Game. That wasn't meant to be played.

Hopelessness was its rules.

And so the Prince of Darkness, slothful and yet artful,

took the heart and buried it.

In a distant land, beyond the marshes, deep beneath and above lay the cold damp earth.

Nice Cut and Paste

Here's a nice one:

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, just remember this mayonnaise jar and the beer story:

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous yes.

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else--the small stuff.If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you willnever have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal.Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter.Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."

Of other people's delusions...

Hahahaha, this is what I call being delusional.....courtesy of katie.

"Just to tell you guys. You know the wonderfully slick advertisement portraying the SAF hunks in action.. with the slogan "ARMY, THE DECISIVE FORCE", the one that gets me all fired up everytime its played on TV. Well it's also played on repeat mode (rotating with some other ads) on the TV screens of the North East MRT line which i live along. Well, i always make it a point to keep my eyes peeled for it whenever i am on the train. And today i got on the train as usual, and to my surprise, sitting right beneath the screen are 2 soldiers. One in no.3 and the other in no.4.

As i was watching the ad, i looked at the 2 soldiers in horror.

The one in no.4 had no rank, Mickey Mouse ears, looked absolutely dopey, is so skinny i reckon he's below 50kg, wore a cheap looking rubber watch with cartoons on it. He totally looked like the antithesis of what i had envisioned, and the TOTAL OPPOSITE of the macho soldiers on the screen above him!!!! The one in no.3 was little better, looked "tut" and nondescript, although not as wimpy and skinny as his friend in no.4, hardly cutting the dashing, manly, macho and buff figure I had in my mind. Goodness me! And how ironic that I had to witness the juxtaposition of the video and 2 geeky and unmanly soldiers right by each other!Arrrgh!

What a let down and total wet blanket!I was left with the conclusion that only the regulars who have signed on with the army possess the spirit that I am lusting for and am enthralled with, correct me if i'm wrong. I deduced, those who are conscripted (NSF) and going on with it wishing to get it over and done with obviously don't have the willingness, spirit or desire to serve the nation or fit the archetype I have in mind. "

Of Emails...

My unimail account was over the set quota recently as indicated by those unfeeling icons on the interface.

I must be stupid or something since I can't for the life of me figure out how to delete my old emails so as to keep below the 20mb quota. I have accumulated a whole lot of emails since my first day in the uni.

My sentimental ways extend even to my emails.

Sometimes, I scare even myself.

Anyway, everytime I tried to move some of the old messages to the trash can, this stupefying message keeps on popping up saying there is some error in moving the messages to the trash can. This meant I cannot clear my inbox. Therefore I am stuck with a screwed account.

Sigh, technology so fazes me.

Drizzled out Picnic...and P.A group anyone?

Went for a long awaited picnic with the gang yesterday at La perouse, it was unfortunate that no one checked with the weather man when we decided that the picnic was still going to be on. So yeah, the picnic got aborted midway when the rain droplets started making audible splatter sound on the newspaper laid on the mat.

Oh well. At least we got off one group photo shot with Adrian's analog SLR and about 12 random shots off my Z1.

And so we packed off to Adrian's place where we just hang out loose, although the girl in our group seems to go on about having nothing to do which I attribute it to her thinking about undone assignments and tutorials as likewise with me but I couldn't be bothered, yes, malaise (yes, me bad uni student).

Dale was sleepy, unusual since thats usually a role I play.

And the Olympics Taekwondo match on SBS yesterday sucked for the men's category, the poor referee have to give quite a few half point penalties to prod those dancing gorillas to lifting their legs and attempt to kick at each other...non event really, the ladies matches were more interesting.

-----------------------------------------

I really should start looking to join the procrastinators anonmynous group.

Binge eating

Today is one of those days again that for some unconcious reason that I start to reach out for food and eat indiscriminately. Sigh. It is probably because I missed breakfast and a very good reason for that was that I was still laying underneath the thick covers. Which incidentally I felt rather stuffy, rather curious during winter isn't it?

Actually it feels more like spring now than anything but the sun still sets rather early. Oh well.

Coming back to the food, my main meals today consists of kripy kreme donuts, assorted, and
two packets of indomee aka mee goreng(non spicy) for lunch and some left over pasta (non cream based) for dinner. Plus two-three cups of kopi-O (with 2 teaspoons of raw sugar everytime). Now I wonder whether I am on a sugar high or what...and I absolutely have very little protein intake today. How's that for a healthy diet for a bloody sports director...haha. (Lameass).

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One mid semester is coming up soon...week 7. Jia you.

Reflections of the soul and of Telecommunication bills

Recently, I think I have spent at least 200 over dollars give or take just over the last one and a three quarter months on my prepaid mobile account. So much for prepaid sim cards letting people have control over their expenditure eh.

Of course, I get to call her for free but that's out of the point. There were quite a few events especially the National day events that made me burn my call credits like hair on fire. Mobile phone charges must be one of the greatest scams of all time, their marginal costs is so low that it is laughable, one wonders whether we are paying for all the crap marketing the telcos engage in or are we paying for the maintainence of those nice radiation towers sprouting in 'inconspicious' corners all over town.

Anyway all that preamble is just whining, the point being I have to watch my calling patterns especially the tendency for me to call other people at their mobile from the home phone (landline), apparently the phone bills have been accumulating and the brother in law is making some noise about it.

Oh well.

It doesn't help there is no real breadwinner at home now. Sigh. Just as well, luckily I did not need to depend on them financially. But still it is a stretch on my current finances, I am amazed I could still pay for that snowboarding trip and all that amount of drinks at the dance parties.

Sigh, looks like I better start surfing the Coles website soon, again.

My life have never looked so much brighter (cue the florescent lights).

分享

C G Am Em
时间已做了选择 什么人叫做朋友

F C Dm G
偶而碰头 心情却能一点就通

因为我们曾有过 理想类似的生活

太多感受 绝非三言两语能形容
Bridge:
F C Em
可能有时我们顾虑太多
F C
太多决定需要我们去选择
Dm Am
担心会犯错 难免会受挫
G F C
幸好一路上有你陪我

Chorus:
C
与你分享的快乐
G Am Em
胜过独自拥有 至今我仍深深感动
F C Dm G
好友如同一扇窗 能让视野不同

与你分享的快乐 胜过独自拥有

至今我仍深深感动

好友如同一扇门 让世界(变)开阔

King of Wishful Thinking

Another song that I liked. Overheard this during one of the long refuge at Dale's place. Now ripping off from Kazza lite.



I don't need to fall at your feet
Just 'cause you cut me to the bone
And I won't miss the way that you kiss me
We were never carved in stone If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself..

I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you 'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I am the king of wishful thinking

I refuse to give in to my blues
That's not how it's going to be
And I deny the tears in my eyes I don't want to let you see.. no
That you have made a hole in my heart
And now I've got to fool myself..

I'll get over you..
I know I will I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you 'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking..
I'll get over you.. I know I will I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you 'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking

I will never, never shed a tear for you I'll get over you
If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself..
I'll get over you.. I know I will I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you 'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I'm the king of wishful thinking I'll get over you.. I know I will

You made a hole in my heart But I won't shed a tear for you I'll be the king of wishful thinking I'll get over you.. I'll pretend my heart's still beating 'cause I've got no more tears for you
I'm the king of wishful thinking.. I'll get over you.. I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
And I'll tell myself I'm over you 'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking

Long interesting day

Had a pretty interesting day today.

Went yum cha with her.

Then rushed down to make it in time for a rather average MLM presentation.

Am rather impressed that there were actually some dudes and dudettes that flew all the way from Singapore in the morning just to come especially for the presentation.

After a while, MLM presentations and evangelical or rather, charismatic church events start to sound eerily similar. The way they present sometimes at least. Hehe.

Sometimes I wonder.

-------------------------------------------------------

The wait for the bus was not that bad tonight.

At least the wind wasn't that bitterly cold.

Still, it was enough to make me wish the blue tin can could come a little bit faster.

Another day gone and another day to come.

Sleep well, guys.

Hazard

My mother came to Hazard when I was just seven

Even then the folks in town said with prejudiced eyes

That boy's not right

Three years ago when I came to know Mary

First time that someone looked beyond the rumors and lies

And saw the man inside

We used to walk down by the river

She loved to watch the sun go down

We used to walk along the river

And dream our way out of this town

No one understood what I felt for Mary

No one cared until the night she went awalking alone

And never came home

Man with a badge came knocking next morning

Here was I surrounded by a thousand fingers suddenly

Pointed right at me

I swear I left her by the river

I swear I left her safe and sound

I need to make it to the rive

rAnd leave this old Nebraska town

I think about my life gone by

How its done me wrong

There's no escape for me this time

All of my rescues are gone

Long gone

I swear I left her by the river

I swear I left her safe and sound

I need to make it to the river

And leave this old Nebraska town

Of the rain and horoscopes

This evening was just one of those that seemed so MTV-ish perfect.


Of the rain
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was walking along the University main walkway out to the bus stop along Anzac Parade.
(1940 hours)

Earphones were plugged in, the radio tuned to FM 106.5 .

My trusty blue Giordano brolly held up by my aching right hand.

My legs were mechanically trudging on the wet walkway and with every step my thighs groan in protest.

It was drizzling in that kind of romantically charged atmosphere albeit with an ironic tinge of lonliness.

I could see my breathe in the cold air.

The music was so blue and the lyrics yet so poigantly true.

I contemplated walking into her direction.

I desired to call.

I so want to seek warmth from her hearth.

Then I sigh.

In the lingering wet dark, there, I wait for the blue tin can on wheels.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Of horoscopes

I learnt that it can be really shitty.

Dour and surly look?

Apparently on the recent ski/snow boarding trip that I had over the weekend with a great bunch of people, I was described and told very much later on that I looked unhappy most of the time.

I guess this seals it for me to be an aspiring actor since I would most likely be typecast as a dour faced villain or some angry psychopath.

People, it is sometimes hard to keep a straight smiley face when your bum cheeks hurt at every cough or every time you bend down. Been falling down the slopes too many times landing on my butt. I am still incredulous that I survived all that beating, my eye hand coordination isn't that great when it comes to keeping a balance on anything that moves underneath my feet.

All in all I enjoyed the snowboarding experience at thredbo, strangely after 25 years before my first sight of snow, it wasn't that exciting for me, sad to say. Perphaps it got something to do with the recent issues I have.

Oh well, I really wanted to do a boarding trip with friends I mostly know for now and I am pretty sure I won't do it without the company since I have been putting it off for such a long time and many of them are graduating soon as well, it'll be sometime before I know another bunch of people that I want to go on a such a trip with again.

And also I was pretty upset that I kept my friends awake at night cos of my most likely sleep apnea problem which is presented with lots of loud snoring and coupled with a few unintentional brushes/accidents on the practice slopes with them (read: lots of near and direct crashes). I am a pretty sensitive soul and yeah I usually wear my feelings on my sleeves one, guess it affects people in a negative way, damn, got to try and smile more often.

And as for the recent issues, yeah it probably had a bearing on the dour and surly faceness, hey I am only human afterall and I do like to have some affections back even if its on a 'platonic' basis (which is really second choice in my books lah). Well I still find myself drawing to be nice towards her like a fly to a nice scented flower (flies in Australia pollinates the flowers more than bees do).

Life is full of stupidities and I guess I am one of them.

Twilight Zone

I feel as if I am living in a twilight zone right now.

Anonmynous comments

Ahhh...can the who-is-so-mysterious one leave an initial/name when posting comments or not har? Abit the diificult to know who is reading and posting although I know it is not one of the most favourite blog (not that I expect it so) but its nice to put an initial at least to a comment.

Arigato go-zai-mas.

P.S The sun will still shine tomorrow morning. So don't worry and be happy.

feel so tired

today is just another one of those days where I have to run on empty fuel and try to make everyone happy like a fucking prostitute who didn't really want to have sex and yet have to moan at every touch of a customer.

I don't really feel lousy or what perphaps my incompetency really is up there and I can be easily buoyed by symphathies given by the few random friends...yup that's my life, a screw up and always saved by the very few times life has decided to throw in a few mercies somewhere randomly in my direction.

And oh, I don't talk/speak/write in a very direct manner, so yeah, who cares about you reading it.

My feet aches from running round the whole day, my shoulder sours with each passing minute as my body tensions and prepares for the imaginary barrage of negativities strewn in my way. And every time I leave her room my heart sweetens and yet sours like a sweet bread gone mad during the baking process. I am so idiotic. Yeastie boy anyone?

Paralysis. Wonder why. Rationally I should get it and over done with since it will quickly allows me to lighten up and move on to someone else who can most potentially sooth my fluctuating emotions.

I really should just study and go on be a night filler at the neighbourhood Coles and entertain myself at the nearby C3. This is the ideal simplistic life I should be leading now...not some pathetic ugly bugger trying too hard in life.

And sigh, why must the one party that I would be most happy in got to be raided? Fucking dimwits aussie cops. If its any consolation, Singaporean policemen/women are a pretty anal bunch of people too. Just like their pay masters.

Blah.

Infinitely Melacholic...

I think...

Been somewhat really ridiculous lately. Can't put a finger to it or actually I rather not since it is just not worth the trouble most of the time but I am gonna blog about it vaguely anyway. Heh.

Sometimes I wonder if my old friends back home would find me a changed person or stayed the same. Which, relative to their perspective, may either be a good or a bad thing or really nothing much about it. I don't know. Should be interesting to see whether the friends here have a different take on me than the ones back home. But then no one should really gives a shit because it is of no importance since theoretically, everyone's favourite subject is about themselves/ourselves, really.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Wanted to post something I wrote a long time ago while back in Brunei but can't find it for now...seems that Iost it somewhere...bugger.

Why do I...

feel so vexed?

Just now.

This issue should have died off. I guess I have already cooled off considerably prior to the trip  thanks to exhortations from a certain friend but somehow my feelings was inflamed somewhat during the whole process. And I am now feeling positively like an idiot and yet at the same time pissed that I am neglected from the group just now (my perspective and its my feelings so I don't give a damn).

Why must she always do this to me, leaving me to pick up most of the work...and the fact that it leaves me positively feeling negative about some issues and all that intertwining iffy litle thing called friendship(s) ( I know I am not making sense here). Does this make me a justifiably pissed idiot then?

Okok the work part is about some silly little thing call some tri or quadruple uni games which happens to necessarily need to be held VERY SOON in another weeks time.  I only got the notice just a little bit before midnight when I called her and she in passing mentioned it to me WHEN she was at mutual friend's place tonight with the other members of the gang. Why do I feel jealous suddenly of a good friend? Sigh...Maybe its cos he seems flirty around her sometimes...and it bothers me that I am bothered about that. This is so very stupid cos there were very legit reasons for her to go there and its not even my end of the business to care.

Am I really a klutz? Am I really that stupid? Am I some sort of an undesirable leper? Why am I sometimes so jealous of others, for their gifts, for their natural ability to attract other attractive people, is it the power of positivity or something more about such people? How much longer can I keep on trying to play the role of a jealous sidekick in life ( there must be a reason why Robin didn't stick around with Batman for all that long).

I don't know. Am I normal? Do I have to wonder about myself constantly so much that it seems so very narcissistic? Why do I habour such a dark side? Perphaps I tend to take too much shit from others or even worse, create the shit and give it to other people to hurl it back at me at light speed.

Laterz, more rantz to come.

Stupid me.

Back from Port Stephen

Back this evening.

It was pretty enjoyable overall. Spent loads of money I wouldn't have otherwise spend but for the heck of it I did.

Now currently wandering around in post holiday tramautic mood.

Confused with many things now, of some people around me I still don't get, of my university career, it looks deadset confusingly tangled; unsure of the value of some subjects I am taking.

Laterz.

 

Digicam and birthday

Just collected me new replacement (sobs...ouch) digital camera from Dale, who did a ery rushed shopping for me back in good ole Singapore *touched*.

Treating it as the most expensive birthday present I ever gave to myself...lalala. And oh, I turned a bloody 25 years of age just now...and still don't feel none the more mature for it. I still walk with an occasional kiddy skip in my step...does that mean I am still very childish?

And oh, I have made a wish that if I were to have a girlfriend, she must be like her...*drools*

*coughs* Happy Birthday to me!

Nippon name

My japanese name is 中島 Nakashima (center of the island) 翼 Tsubasa (wing).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

That's the Hanyu Pinyin one, here's the dialect one

My japanese name is 秋本 Akimoto (autumn book) 直樹 Naoki (straight tree).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Kaname chan.....

Sighh...I have this tendency to fall in love with animes...think the real world is too bland sometimes. Which is somewhat ironic since the world of animes actually involve lots of bloodshed, tears, traumatising past or experiences, weird enemies etc. Whew.

Anyway, latest love is Full Metal Panic in all its installations, basically love it for the chemistry between Chidori and Sagara. I think I behave like Sagara sometimes, not knowing what to do in the company of females, except I am not a military fanboy otaku.

Its ok, Sagara can keep Chidori (dream girl), I can go for Tessa...wooooo.

Sad, I need a life.

Thumping headache

Got this little achy headache now...must be because there's still this assignment hanging over my head. Damn it...and I have still yet to see my flexipass tickets in the mailbox yet AND stupid ATM machine ate my card today for absolutely no reason at all. Luckily managed to get it sort out all within 45 minutes time. Amazing record for Aussie efficiency I tell ya. Although I have to wait till next week before a new card comes in.

Ha ha ha

From www.talkingcock.com:


CUM IN ME SINGAPORE
[Sung to the tune of Count On Me Singapore, alternate lyrics by Kok Kok Klan]

There is a new law for us to follow
Just believe, just believe
We must make love for Singapore
To make babies, to make babies
Boys and girls, let's do our part
Stand together, butt to butt
Our birth rate is getting low, and we must stop it
To make babies, to make babies

There is a need to know sex is good and ain't a sorrow
So let's drop our pants and do what Steve Chia died for
I ejaculated in your ass, it's a disaster Singapore shares
Stop oral and anal sex, oh horny you and me
Let’s make babies, let’s make babies

Cum in me Singapore, cum in me and on my ass no more

Boys and girls, don't poke your butts,
Fark together, test your luck
Our birth rate is getting low, and we must stop it
To make babies, to make babies

Chorus:
Cum in me Singapore, cum in me Singapore
Cum in me and on my ass no more

(Repeated Chorus)

Cum in me Singapore Singapore (FADE OUT)

And more are coming...

One down....

And one more major essay to go (plus one little tutorial journal)! I will conquer it! Thou shalt not SLACK!

Published letter on Today paper

I am amazed they actually published it. I even made some civilised insults in the original letter I sent, oh well, I leave it as it is.

I refer to the letter, "Give each S'pore family $500" (Today, May 31) by Mr Tan Kin Lian.
.
His call for Singapore's currency to be devalued is short sighted and reveals many fallacies of thought. More importantly, it does not consider the inflationary effects of such devaluation on the country.
.
There will be no magical rush in the numbers of tourists or a sudden rise in demand for our exports just because our currency is weaker.
.
Many factors are at play including the relative price elasticity of our goods vis-à-vis our competitors.
.
Our neighbours will always give more bang for the buck when it comes to tourist dollars — think beautiful natural beaches and friendly people, versus dour sales assistants at many of our shopping centres.
.
T** **** M***



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On an unrelated note, yeah got screwed by my groupmates for slacking...oh well, too bad, I got them the company to interview and they don't know how many hours I spent prior to the final part of the project just searching for the relevant articles so as to let them understand the industry. Sian. I am not a scholar material cos I choose to slack. How's that?

Natural bordom

From the princton career review:

Career interests

People with green Interests like job responsibilities and occupations that involve persuasion, sales, promotions, and group or personal contact. People with green Interests enjoy activities that include: motivating, mediating, selling, influencing, consensus building, persuading, delegating authority, entertaining, and lobbying. These Interests often lead to work in marketing, advertising, training, therapy, consulting, teaching, law, and public relations.



Career Style

People with yellow styles perform their job responsibilities in a manner that is orderly and planned to meet a known schedule. They prefer to work where things get done with a minimum of interpretation and unexpected change. People with a yellow style tend to be orderly, cautious, structured, loyal, systematic, solitary, methodical, and organized, and usually thrive in a research-oriented, predictable, established, controlled, measurable, orderly environment. You will want to choose a work environment or career path in which your style is welcomed and produces results.


By the way people, anyone who wants to make comments can just click on the timestamp at the end of each post.

Life's like that huh...

Read an email last night during one of my regular midnight hour internet surfings, an old time friend had died in a freak fire accident. It was in the news and of course gossip fodder for the tabloids.

I didn't really know what to feel or think, so I just picked up the phone and made calls across distances that usually takes seven hour by SQ planes. I hadn't seen that friend for more than a couple of years already and I have always been harping on to a mutual friend of ours that I would look them up whenever I go back for the holidays. But I didn't.

Cue those comments for life is like that, life is fated and blah blah blah...

The thing is, I didn't really feel all that sad but neither am I exuberantly excited (yeah that would be really perverse), but it did gave me a good excuse to make some calls back to inform some of our old mutual friends; just to hear familar voices for that comfort, to touch the distant memories, to reassure myself that there are some of those whom I care about are still around.

My friend did not have an easy life, well comparatively to her and most of my peers. She had a mind of her own and can be safely said to be obstinate with most things we disagreed on. But the last time I ever talked to her over the phone was really ages ago. With me coming and going away from Singapore, somehow I lose touch with some of the friends who didn't really deserve to be dropped, well, it wasn't on purpose, people drift away and I accept that. I hope, that for all her troubles and worries she had in her life before yesterday morning, that she did not at any point felt that she lived her life in vain, for she had left that little imprint on the hearts of her friends.

It's been done

Dear Mr Tan,

Thank you for choosing Ticketek, Australia's leading entertainment and sporting ticketing agency.

This email is to confirm tickets have been purchased for:

Event: Flexi-Pass
Date: Fri 11 - Sat 26 Jun 2004
Venue: State Theatre
Section: S10PASS
Row: -
Seats: -

Current status

Eyes tired, relying on massive doses of caffiene and sugar and that V to keep me going. The buses windows are all having a go at my head whenever I take the window seat...there's a reason why I wouldn't want to drive, I'll probably contribute to the accident statistics.

Two presentations to go and they are all happening this week...how did I ever let myself talk myself into doing this. Bleah. Sigh, should stop watching Shane's Kang Xi's dvd during the next one month.

Hmm.....

One day on msn messanger:

Another stupid love song to Clairvoyant Wanderer: do u ever know this guy who got caught/gave himself up?

Clairvoyant Wanderer to Another stupid love song: nope.

Another stupid love song to Clairvoyant Wanderer: interesting

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A day later got this from the mail from Clairvoyant Wanderer:

out of curiosity... a New Paper reporter called me today, local HP number, so I think he's actually in Sydney. Guy by the name of Tse Kai, fishing for comments, local feel, etc. I told him I had no comments, didn't know who the accused was (outright lie, btw.)

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Nice eh. I have been relegated to the likes of journalists.

P.S: No, Shane, it is not CB.

From the Business Times today

EDITORIAL


Published May 28, 2004

Asia's energy opportunity

SOARING oil prices are an opportunity for Asia to work out a long-term energy strategy.

It would not be wise to look to the West for inspiration. The United States is not doing much to reduce its dependence on oil. Given its ease of access to oil supplies from existing and developing sources, Washington is unlikely to break with its current oil-centred energy policies. Europe is more proactive in discouraging oil use through high taxes, but it too enjoys proximity to considerable energy sources. It is linked to energy-rich Russia by pipelines and has North Sea resources as well.

By contrast, Asian nations are forced to pay a premium for their oil imports, 70 per cent of which come from the Middle East. The Asia-Pacific region imports about two-thirds of the oil it consumes and demand is forecast to grow by 1.1 million barrels per day to about 23 million barrels this year. For a region that contains more than half of the world's population as well as some of its fastest growing economies, a transition towards lower dependency on fossil fuels should be a top priority.





So, it is heartening to see signs of meaningful cooperation among Asian nations emerging. Five of Asia's leading economies have agreed to work together in the current energy environment. At a forthcoming meeting in New Delhi, Japan, China, India, South Korea and the Philippines will discuss how to create and operate a strategic stockpile as well as press Middle East exporters to discard the premium charges levied on their imports. South Korea, which announced the new cooperation plan at the International Energy Forum in Amsterdam earlier this week, believes the arrangement will have a fighting chance of success since it will be an effort entirely by oil importers, unlike the larger regional forums that host both buyers and sellers.

But even larger forums are striving for shared solutions against the backdrop of rising oil prices. For instance, last week, the 22-member Asia Cooperation Dialogue in Manila decided to take the first steps towards building up oil stockpiles.

At the moment in Asia, only Japan and South Korea have stockpiles of any worthwhile size. Japan has 160 days' supply. China and India are just starting to build up their own. However, it will be expensive to build stockpiles now, and countries contemplating doing so will not only have to pay dearly but may also push up market prices further - although they may have no choice but to press ahead anyway.

But this group of large consumers must think beyondtheir current strategies. Stockpiles and new oil exploration can only be short-term answers. The western growth model they have embraced requires a huge amount of oil at competitive prices to sustain it.

Talent

Without good prospects of cheap oil supplies long into the future, the time has surely come to consider measures that have been dismissed as utopian or unworkable thus far in the West. Renewable energy research has already made small inroads into Asia. India is the leader but still meets only 3 per cent of its energy needs in this way. Obviously, the region needs to emulate the bold approach the Japanese have taken. Tokyo has cut its reliance on imported energy since the 1970s to 40 per cent of its energy needs as Japanese companies use more nuclear power and liquefied natural gas. Its car companies have introduced hybrid-engine cars, such as Toyota's Prius. China is planning a huge expansion of its nuclear power programme. Like Japan, it has also experimented with fuel cell vehicles and has just started testing them.

What is required is a more collaborative, rather than competitive, effort to boost supplies of new, cleaner forms of energy. Will the current steps lead to such cooperation? Certainly, the region has sufficient talent, money and large enough markets to experiment. And the benefits will surely outweigh the efforts

The world is stupid, love is stupid, everyone's stupid.

Am I some sort of charity organisation, why can't I be compensated from somebody else for what I can do and not always have to take the do it for the nephew excuse? Stupid balloons for the stupid party. I don't want your money, I rather let my balloons rot than to always do something that you want, why is it that you cannot talk to me first?

Assumptions are all fuckups in life. That's why economics have been screwing people's life all around. I always wonder why do some of the richest people in the world like or wants to accumulate so much cash that they don't even know what to do with it anymore?

A recent article I read recently highlighted out how capital these days are so fluid, flowing around the world in the blind search of better returns, nothing wrong but such search and eventual utilisation of capital will surely consume some part of the fixed stock of resources of our little planet. Sure, recycling and alternative sources may be found but there will reach a level when the energy used to recycle or find such alternatives may exceed the benefits...argh.

Of course there comes the question of inequalities and equity issues. Is it equitable to let the frail old lady to search the garbage bin for scraps becasue she has outlived her usefulness or a.k.a marginal productivity = 0 . Of course there might be the State welfare but hey, don't capital nowadays take off to where the State decries welfarism? Interesting.

Stupid little rant. Luckily I have no idea who will be reading this piece of crap.

Feelings...

Smug: Somehow, somewhere, wrangled a free yum cha treat this saturday...and it's from a person that I've barely known well. Strange, but am thankful for such encounters.

Pondering: About that...

Miffed: At inability to get down to work when required. It's called procrastination.

Excited & in awed: At prospect of some potential projects I might embark on after this semester ends. Really hope I can get the short film screening off the ground. In awe secretly when met up with Max Stahl this evening, am hopeful I can get something going in relation with their project in Timor Leste, hopefully can get some contacts in Singapore going.

Screwed: Body clock.

What's this about Pizza?

What's this thingy about pizza?

Anyways, moi was reading the Sydney film festival guide ...felt so stupid when I couldn't find the reviews for 15...turns out they used the chinese phrase: Shi-Wu ...and I thought it was some Korean/jap show when I initially saw that title.

Bleah.

I have no real friends

Sometimes I don't know who my friends are anymore. Granted, some enlightened shit head will tell you the best friendship are those without expectations but sometimes its just so shitty.

Take this friend of mine for example, I've been pestering him to come up to Sydney at least once before he finishes his studies in Melbourne. I've made two trips down the past two years to see him, I appreciated him letting me bunk in but hey I didn't freeload. And all I wanted was to have some long time friend to be around at least once and that will make my day. It doesn't cost alot but noooo...no one can afford the bloody time.

The few friends I have made here are mostly not going to be around in July, some are staying but not much, most will be going back to Singapore or to some snowy place to ski their heads off; It's just going to be another quiet birthday this July...crap I hate my own birthday. But given that I have forgotten a dozen and a half other friends' birthdays as well, I guess I deserve it. Crap crap crap crap. I don't want to be remembered only if I met an ignominious accidental d***th...fucking crap.

And I'll most likely be stuck in the city trying to look for a job.
God damn it, whats wrong with all the employers, I ain't a bludger or a dodgy asian with some dodgy background...fucking piss.

Have you ever really fallen in love before?

have you ever really fallen in love before?
Yes, and we are now happily married
2 votes (20%)
Yes, but we did not end up as husband and wife
4 votes (40%)
No
1 votes (10%)
No (what love? men just want sex, women just want money)
3 votes (30%)

10 people have voted so far

Hmmmm...

Which Naruto Character are You?
quiz by orangeday.net

I hate Ebay

Stupid ebay.

Pissed with at myself...

There's too much to say about disliking myself...therefore I shall just redirect all my ire at the bastard/bitch who snitched my Canon A80.

But I am too numbed already. Perphaps this is a sign of me accepting that I cannot fight such mindless acts of dishonesty, such travesty of the goodness that I believed should exist in every human being, such idiocy at me for not taking care of my own property, all words of consolation has the effect of a band-aid on a haemorrhaging arterial wound.

Such emptiness.

Fucking pissed off.....

NBCBCCB....! Lost my digital camera tonight at the party...ccb...*sobs*

Oh my fucking god...

Holey comoley, I can't believe I have to break into my own house...argh, hope no one reported it to the police or I'll get into big shit.

Time to remind my brother in law to change the security screen.

Dramatic evening...

Last night's soccer game at the uni green was dramatic. I got good players however their finishing was a let down...hmm perphaps I should start to scout for lethal strikers soon eh..but will have to see whether the budget can allow for it...hehe I'm beginning to like being a 'manager'.

Coming to the dramatic part, the team we played in the last match was a bunch of bastards. Fluent in cursing in cantonese and pretending to act with finese in English, they didn't think my players who half of them are of Hong Kong descent would let them off without giving back for what its worth? I am most impressed with how my soccer coordinator stood up for the team..but at the same time gave me a worry and almost a heart attack, I would add cold sweat if not for the fact it was already cold then and I couldn't sweat the sweat.

Oh well, luckily everybody kept some sort of a semblence of coolness and walked away with only their egos bruised.

Tick tick tick and I am going click click click...tsk tsk tsk...

Shit man...week 10 already...the time flies and my grades are dropping like the provebial freaking flies...no more click click click soon.

Sarah...wait for me....

Crossing fingers...ebay, don't let me down now.....*cross cross cross*

Tired...

I am tired...still struggling with assignment..and having to pick up the slack for other people's personal life crisis...