Numbness

Think this numbness thingy have been in great demand lately, not only with me but many other people around me...sheesh this is contagious man.

Called back home after such a long while but same pattern emerges again: the one who gave birth to me nagged at me on why I call back after so long and when I wanted to ask for my brother, mom turned her attention as to WHY I only called after he left...if this is conversation I rather not have it. As usual my mood-swing mechanism, as 'she' often calls it, kicked in and everything thereafter wasn't that pretty but yeah no one got yelled at or anything. Nothing new.

As I was saying something about the numbness thingy, my medication have been to play the song by Maroon 5 on repeat mode. I actually don't need to be so numbed this time round since the result was something that I already knew, just that this was something I have to do personally myself.

No, my world ain't going to come crashing down nor is it drastically turned into shades of dreary gray. It just isn't that colourful. I need to sterilise the memories, not eradicating them, just have to make them hold neutral feelings.

Or maybe I might opt for a lobotomy (noun : surgical interruption of nerve tracts to and from the frontal lobe of the brain; often results in marked cognitive and personality changes).

Not feeling anything now.