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Sunday, October 31, 2004
@*#*@&@!)!
Damn day light savings...rob me of one hour of sleep...@*&!*&#*.
Oh the other hand, I look forward to bright and sunny at 7-8 pm.
Oh the other hand, I look forward to bright and sunny at 7-8 pm.
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Bored out of my mind
Hmmmm...
Take Free Myers Briggs Ideal vs. Real Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Myers Briggs Ideal vs. Real Test
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personality tests by similarminds.com
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Quote of the day
"What I do today is important because I will never have today again"
-Tan Jian Sheng- (Not Me).
-Tan Jian Sheng- (Not Me).
Monday, October 25, 2004
It's the time of the year again
Yeah...the dreaded E word, Exams.
Sigh. I like sighing on my blog ok people, stop asking why I sigh so much. It's just like asking why do you use your eyes to see all the time.
Anyway, it's just this surreal feeling that usually strikes me after a trip (such as a camping trip or long overseas assignment); the one where I usually pinch myself to say, yeah, the experience I was having is over, wake up.
Ephemeral.
I was showering and just then, all the memories of all the road trips and holidays I had this year came flashing back. Ok, it wasn't vivid and clear like the movies but yeah I do remember the feelings I had during the trips.
A little smile.
Disregarding all the negatives, like a bag of rotting potatoes.
It was all good. I don't regret one single bit having to dig out some gold here and there to finance my activities this year. Although it does mean I have to start the ardous voyage of prospecting for new gold.
As the MasterCard jingle silently shrills out: the experiences, priceless.
Sigh. I like sighing on my blog ok people, stop asking why I sigh so much. It's just like asking why do you use your eyes to see all the time.
Anyway, it's just this surreal feeling that usually strikes me after a trip (such as a camping trip or long overseas assignment); the one where I usually pinch myself to say, yeah, the experience I was having is over, wake up.
Ephemeral.
I was showering and just then, all the memories of all the road trips and holidays I had this year came flashing back. Ok, it wasn't vivid and clear like the movies but yeah I do remember the feelings I had during the trips.
A little smile.
Disregarding all the negatives, like a bag of rotting potatoes.
It was all good. I don't regret one single bit having to dig out some gold here and there to finance my activities this year. Although it does mean I have to start the ardous voyage of prospecting for new gold.
As the MasterCard jingle silently shrills out: the experiences, priceless.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Hot News???
Todayonline labels this: "PAP turns 50" (Paulo, Derrick, A., Today Weekend, October 23, 2004) as Hot News.
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Me Green? Hehe
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Thursday, October 21, 2004
Quoteworthy
From Priji quoting DH Lawrence:
All I ask of a woman is that she shall feel gently towards me
when my heart feels kindly towards her,
and there shall be the soft, soft tremor as of unheard bells between us.
It is all I ask.I am so tired of violent women lashing out and insisting on being loved,
when there is no love in them.
All I ask of a woman is that she shall feel gently towards me
when my heart feels kindly towards her,
and there shall be the soft, soft tremor as of unheard bells between us.
It is all I ask.I am so tired of violent women lashing out and insisting on being loved,
when there is no love in them.
Should I or should I not?
I so want to go for an internship, not because I want to be a free slave but rather I want to apply the things I learnt or at least immerse myself in some of the work that I forsee myself possibly going into in the near future (read: 2-3 years time).
Sigh, the curse of feeling inadequacy strikes again, now all the what ifs keep on popping up in my head.
*Must think positive, must think positive, must think positive...."
Sigh, the curse of feeling inadequacy strikes again, now all the what ifs keep on popping up in my head.
*Must think positive, must think positive, must think positive...."
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Ruminative diary is baaaaad
Something interesting. Ok I really should be getting down to my work.
----------------------------------
17:00 08 September 04
NewScientist.com news service
Keeping a diary is bad for your health, say UK psychologists.
They found that regular diarists were more likely than non-diarists to suffer from headaches, sleeplessness, digestive problems and social awkwardness.Their finding challenges assumptions that people find it easier to get over a traumatic event if they write about it.
“We expected diary keepers to have some benefit, or be the same, but they were the worst off,” says Elaine Duncan of the Glasgow Caledonian University. “In fact, you’re probably much better off if you don’t write anything at all,” she adds.
The study, carried out with David Sheffield of Staffordshire University, was presented on Wednesday at a meeting of the British Psychological Society in Edinburgh.Cathartic processThe pair studied 94 regular diarists and compared their health with that of 41 non-diarists.
The subjects, all students at Staffordshire University, answered questions about their diary-keeping habits, and filled in a standard health questionnaire.“We decided to test the idea that writing is cathartic,” says Duncan.
She claims that her study is the first to investigate subjects who write of their own free will. In most other studies, volunteers are actually asked to write about traumatic experiences in a systematic way.
The researchers asked the diarists recruited to say how often they made entries and for how long they had kept diaries. They were also asked if they had written about anything traumatic.Statistically, the diarists scored much worse on health measures than the non-diarists.
And worst affected of all were those who had written about trauma. “They were most susceptible to headaches and the like,” says Duncan.
Ruminative cycle
Although she does not have proof, Duncan speculates that diarists buck the usual trend because instead of a single, cathartic outpouring to offload trauma, diarists continually churn over their misfortunes and so never get over them. “It’s probably better not to get caught in a ruminative, repetitive cycle,” she says. But she acknowledges that her experiment could not demonstrate which came first - the diary writing or the health problems.
In a forthcoming experiment, she hopes to explore this by asking volunteers new to diary writing to report exclusively positive or negative things, to see if the health of the two groups diverges.Andy Coghlan
----------------------------------
17:00 08 September 04
NewScientist.com news service
Keeping a diary is bad for your health, say UK psychologists.
They found that regular diarists were more likely than non-diarists to suffer from headaches, sleeplessness, digestive problems and social awkwardness.Their finding challenges assumptions that people find it easier to get over a traumatic event if they write about it.
“We expected diary keepers to have some benefit, or be the same, but they were the worst off,” says Elaine Duncan of the Glasgow Caledonian University. “In fact, you’re probably much better off if you don’t write anything at all,” she adds.
The study, carried out with David Sheffield of Staffordshire University, was presented on Wednesday at a meeting of the British Psychological Society in Edinburgh.Cathartic processThe pair studied 94 regular diarists and compared their health with that of 41 non-diarists.
The subjects, all students at Staffordshire University, answered questions about their diary-keeping habits, and filled in a standard health questionnaire.“We decided to test the idea that writing is cathartic,” says Duncan.
She claims that her study is the first to investigate subjects who write of their own free will. In most other studies, volunteers are actually asked to write about traumatic experiences in a systematic way.
The researchers asked the diarists recruited to say how often they made entries and for how long they had kept diaries. They were also asked if they had written about anything traumatic.Statistically, the diarists scored much worse on health measures than the non-diarists.
And worst affected of all were those who had written about trauma. “They were most susceptible to headaches and the like,” says Duncan.
Ruminative cycle
Although she does not have proof, Duncan speculates that diarists buck the usual trend because instead of a single, cathartic outpouring to offload trauma, diarists continually churn over their misfortunes and so never get over them. “It’s probably better not to get caught in a ruminative, repetitive cycle,” she says. But she acknowledges that her experiment could not demonstrate which came first - the diary writing or the health problems.
In a forthcoming experiment, she hopes to explore this by asking volunteers new to diary writing to report exclusively positive or negative things, to see if the health of the two groups diverges.Andy Coghlan
Monday, October 18, 2004
Late thingy on Australian Federal Elections
Ok, this is for my friend who was very upset by the results of the Australian Federal Elections.
Posting an article/letter written by her in the immediate aftermath, the only editing done is to the paragraphing:
The Australian election
My name is Mimi Zilliacus, I am a student studying history and politics
at the University of New South Wales in Australia.
Today I am very depressed. Yesterday my fellow citizens
re-elected John Howard, a man who has lied to the Australian people on numerous occasions on issues of much more importance than his sex life.
Why you might ask would the Australian people want this man back in
Parliament. Well that’s a very good question.
The reason is the money. He has claimed to be responsible for the
growth in the economy and for lower interest rates, and on top of that he has promised to bring in tax cuts for a select few.
What the general public fails to understand is that the growth in the economy and
interest rates are also dependant on what is going on in the global market place. They fail to see that a “free trade” agreement with the US is going f#$% us over, we will be the underdogs and America will be free to benefit at great costs to us, the Australian people.
I believe in human rights and that Australia should be fulfilling its
obligations under international law. I believe that war is never going to create less of a terrorist threat, it creates more. I believe that Australia should not
be stealing oil from a country which has risked so much to become
democratic and which is struggling to re-build itself. I believe that there is no justification for locking up children.
I believe that these things are more important than the state of the economy.
Prior to the election I went to a rally against the lies of the Howard
government. It was fantastic, 7,000 people marched through the streets of Sydney. There was a great atmosphere. I don’t know anyone who voted for Howard. And here in lies the point, we need to find a way to educate the masses, those people who didn’t go to the rally, and don’t go to any rallies.
The cab drivers, labourers, and ordinary Australians who are just trying to make a living and don’t really care, or don’t have the time to care, about international politics.
Those who read only main stream media and believe what they read. We need to be able to communicate to them, to say to them we are not all a bunch of tree hugging hippies and
actually what happens in international politics does affect their everyday lives. That in the broader perspective a tax cut and lower interest rates are not going to help when we no longer have free health care, the cost of medicines triples, are pharmaceutical and agricultural industries cannot compete with American, even in our own backyard, and when only the elite
can afford to go to university. That actually the cost of mandatory detention is far greater than any other alternative. Even if every one who is currently in a detention centre
were in the community and being given welfare it would still cost less than detention.
I need to do something, but at the moment I don’t know what to do, I
feel powerless, but there has to be something that I can do. Got any ideas? I am not sure who I am going to send this to, but to anyone who wants to help me all assistance would be greatly appreciated. Australia is supposed to be a democracy but democracy doesn’t work without a well informed public. With this in mind I want help to come up with a way to educate the public, and especially those people who see “left” as being a bad thing. Because I cannot live through another three years of Howard without some hope that we can change things, and because I think that this is a similar problem in many other countries.
Posting an article/letter written by her in the immediate aftermath, the only editing done is to the paragraphing:
The Australian election
My name is Mimi Zilliacus, I am a student studying history and politics
at the University of New South Wales in Australia.
Today I am very depressed. Yesterday my fellow citizens
re-elected John Howard, a man who has lied to the Australian people on numerous occasions on issues of much more importance than his sex life.
Why you might ask would the Australian people want this man back in
Parliament. Well that’s a very good question.
The reason is the money. He has claimed to be responsible for the
growth in the economy and for lower interest rates, and on top of that he has promised to bring in tax cuts for a select few.
What the general public fails to understand is that the growth in the economy and
interest rates are also dependant on what is going on in the global market place. They fail to see that a “free trade” agreement with the US is going f#$% us over, we will be the underdogs and America will be free to benefit at great costs to us, the Australian people.
I believe in human rights and that Australia should be fulfilling its
obligations under international law. I believe that war is never going to create less of a terrorist threat, it creates more. I believe that Australia should not
be stealing oil from a country which has risked so much to become
democratic and which is struggling to re-build itself. I believe that there is no justification for locking up children.
I believe that these things are more important than the state of the economy.
Prior to the election I went to a rally against the lies of the Howard
government. It was fantastic, 7,000 people marched through the streets of Sydney. There was a great atmosphere. I don’t know anyone who voted for Howard. And here in lies the point, we need to find a way to educate the masses, those people who didn’t go to the rally, and don’t go to any rallies.
The cab drivers, labourers, and ordinary Australians who are just trying to make a living and don’t really care, or don’t have the time to care, about international politics.
Those who read only main stream media and believe what they read. We need to be able to communicate to them, to say to them we are not all a bunch of tree hugging hippies and
actually what happens in international politics does affect their everyday lives. That in the broader perspective a tax cut and lower interest rates are not going to help when we no longer have free health care, the cost of medicines triples, are pharmaceutical and agricultural industries cannot compete with American, even in our own backyard, and when only the elite
can afford to go to university. That actually the cost of mandatory detention is far greater than any other alternative. Even if every one who is currently in a detention centre
were in the community and being given welfare it would still cost less than detention.
I need to do something, but at the moment I don’t know what to do, I
feel powerless, but there has to be something that I can do. Got any ideas? I am not sure who I am going to send this to, but to anyone who wants to help me all assistance would be greatly appreciated. Australia is supposed to be a democracy but democracy doesn’t work without a well informed public. With this in mind I want help to come up with a way to educate the public, and especially those people who see “left” as being a bad thing. Because I cannot live through another three years of Howard without some hope that we can change things, and because I think that this is a similar problem in many other countries.
Sunday, October 17, 2004
Been converted
I am so going to abandon FM 106.5 now. Well, not entirely but for most of the time now.
For those of you still in Sydney and are somewhat jaded with mainstream music, please tune in to FM 94.5.
Whew. My soul is once again saved by this little band aid.
For those of you still in Sydney and are somewhat jaded with mainstream music, please tune in to FM 94.5.
Whew. My soul is once again saved by this little band aid.
Saturday, October 16, 2004
Great party and strange conversation
Just got back from Circular Quay and oh boy, last night's party was one of the bestest I ever had, not least because I had the least duty and also because of the ability to let loose. Heh. More on that later if I feel like it.
After the party, went to the only 24 hour restaurant in Circular Quay for supper/brekkie. On the way there in a cab, was strangely engaged in a conversation that I never thought I would have with the taxi driver, not especially after a dance party at 3 am.
He was talking to me about the benefits of the bi-lingual policy in Singapore and advocates the view that the Chinese people are impressed with the results and are adopting the same mindsets with regards to the policies in China; apparently he thinks its the half democracy system in Singapore that also makes it palatable for the Chinese to adopt instead of the Western model, Americana example exemplar.
After the party, went to the only 24 hour restaurant in Circular Quay for supper/brekkie. On the way there in a cab, was strangely engaged in a conversation that I never thought I would have with the taxi driver, not especially after a dance party at 3 am.
He was talking to me about the benefits of the bi-lingual policy in Singapore and advocates the view that the Chinese people are impressed with the results and are adopting the same mindsets with regards to the policies in China; apparently he thinks its the half democracy system in Singapore that also makes it palatable for the Chinese to adopt instead of the Western model, Americana example exemplar.
Oh man indeed.
Gotta Zzzzzzz...laterz people.
Friday, October 15, 2004
Party tonite
Woo hoo...yeah you could tell I am really excited.
Yeah, get to see the shadows of those who smiles and says yeah, but comes crunch time, I can see the kite flying up a mile high.
"..Ti oor oor, buay lor hor..."
I am surrounded by wonderful people. Yeah.
Duh.
ON a more positive note, I get a free dinner tonight.
Yeah, get to see the shadows of those who smiles and says yeah, but comes crunch time, I can see the kite flying up a mile high.
"..Ti oor oor, buay lor hor..."
I am surrounded by wonderful people. Yeah.
Duh.
ON a more positive note, I get a free dinner tonight.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Reminder to meself
One thing good about blogs is that it can function as a public diary to remind me/us/people of the work I/we/everyone need to do.
So here goes:
International Buisness 1102: One group report on cross-culture leadership in the U.S. and compare it with Indonesia. Group meeting this Friday morning, DO MY PART!!!
Economics 3120: One essay worth 40% on how and what simplicity in econometrics is about. Print out the readings and read the bloody books I borrowed. Due 24th October I think.
Philosophy 1010: My weak subject this semester. Got to do a paper on Kitty Genovese's murder and a whole bunch of logic exercise...sian. Panic mode cos its due next Wednesday. Reminder, act sad and stress to gain sympathy to get extension of assignment!!!
SLSP 2002: One and a half page paper with Zenia, taking on the role of hospital managers, about healthcare issues and hospitals. Due this Wednesday.
So here goes:
International Buisness 1102: One group report on cross-culture leadership in the U.S. and compare it with Indonesia. Group meeting this Friday morning, DO MY PART!!!
Economics 3120: One essay worth 40% on how and what simplicity in econometrics is about. Print out the readings and read the bloody books I borrowed. Due 24th October I think.
Philosophy 1010: My weak subject this semester. Got to do a paper on Kitty Genovese's murder and a whole bunch of logic exercise...sian. Panic mode cos its due next Wednesday. Reminder, act sad and stress to gain sympathy to get extension of assignment!!!
SLSP 2002: One and a half page paper with Zenia, taking on the role of hospital managers, about healthcare issues and hospitals. Due this Wednesday.
Monday, October 11, 2004
Choices we make
Tonight, I saw something that I did not really expect to see and it was a scene that left me speechless. It was a moment of awakening and like a splash of freezing cold water to the face on a winters day.
Although to any other outsider who knows the situation somewhat, they would have seen it coming but I guess I intentionally left myself out of the loop. But still, it disarmed me to the extent that the only thing I could choose to do was to avoid.
Sure, the approach taken was somewhat crude and lack graciousness expected of a man. But hey, I am human too, so let me have the time of the day to myself, the way that I want to acknowledge how I felt.
What made it worse was the fact that I felt like a fool, well, not to be too beating myself about it but I think any other reasonable guy would feel the same were he in my shoes, perhaps except for Adrian (winkz). I can eventually accept the two of you together but please, do not in my face, act, or worse, pretend that everything is normal, fine and dandy, with all the innocence in the world.
Give me a little respect please. Even if I don't deserve it but maybe, just maybe, pretend that I do and should get some. What was your point of saying sorry? There is no way that anyone can heal it with just apologies.
Although to be fair, it is not hers nor his perogative to do so.
I just wanted to get home on the bus today but I got one of the biggest lesson here in Aust, it isn't pretty and the 'tuition' fee was much more than what I expected.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a separate note, I also found out tonight someone was just accommodating me for quite a while. I don't know what to say or feel about it.
The scars are still fresh and the wind still bites.
Can we ever go back to the good old days?
I wish we could.
Things happen.
We all make various choices earlier and the effects of those choices culminated to this day.
Is it bad or good?
I do not know.
Was innocence sacrificed?
Was there any in the first place?
We all put on masks.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Am I still immature? Possibly so.
No wonder so many of the people at a party two days back were giving me strange looks.
"Haha, you fool."
Baka.
Although to any other outsider who knows the situation somewhat, they would have seen it coming but I guess I intentionally left myself out of the loop. But still, it disarmed me to the extent that the only thing I could choose to do was to avoid.
Sure, the approach taken was somewhat crude and lack graciousness expected of a man. But hey, I am human too, so let me have the time of the day to myself, the way that I want to acknowledge how I felt.
What made it worse was the fact that I felt like a fool, well, not to be too beating myself about it but I think any other reasonable guy would feel the same were he in my shoes, perhaps except for Adrian (winkz). I can eventually accept the two of you together but please, do not in my face, act, or worse, pretend that everything is normal, fine and dandy, with all the innocence in the world.
Give me a little respect please. Even if I don't deserve it but maybe, just maybe, pretend that I do and should get some. What was your point of saying sorry? There is no way that anyone can heal it with just apologies.
Although to be fair, it is not hers nor his perogative to do so.
I just wanted to get home on the bus today but I got one of the biggest lesson here in Aust, it isn't pretty and the 'tuition' fee was much more than what I expected.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a separate note, I also found out tonight someone was just accommodating me for quite a while. I don't know what to say or feel about it.
The scars are still fresh and the wind still bites.
Can we ever go back to the good old days?
I wish we could.
Things happen.
We all make various choices earlier and the effects of those choices culminated to this day.
Is it bad or good?
I do not know.
Was innocence sacrificed?
Was there any in the first place?
We all put on masks.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Am I still immature? Possibly so.
No wonder so many of the people at a party two days back were giving me strange looks.
"Haha, you fool."
Baka.
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Friday, October 08, 2004
Sunday, October 03, 2004
Numbness
Think this numbness thingy have been in great demand lately, not only with me but many other people around me...sheesh this is contagious man.
Called back home after such a long while but same pattern emerges again: the one who gave birth to me nagged at me on why I call back after so long and when I wanted to ask for my brother, mom turned her attention as to WHY I only called after he left...if this is conversation I rather not have it. As usual my mood-swing mechanism, as 'she' often calls it, kicked in and everything thereafter wasn't that pretty but yeah no one got yelled at or anything. Nothing new.
As I was saying something about the numbness thingy, my medication have been to play the song by Maroon 5 on repeat mode. I actually don't need to be so numbed this time round since the result was something that I already knew, just that this was something I have to do personally myself.
No, my world ain't going to come crashing down nor is it drastically turned into shades of dreary gray. It just isn't that colourful. I need to sterilise the memories, not eradicating them, just have to make them hold neutral feelings.
Or maybe I might opt for a lobotomy (noun : surgical interruption of nerve tracts to and from the frontal lobe of the brain; often results in marked cognitive and personality changes).
Not feeling anything now.
Called back home after such a long while but same pattern emerges again: the one who gave birth to me nagged at me on why I call back after so long and when I wanted to ask for my brother, mom turned her attention as to WHY I only called after he left...if this is conversation I rather not have it. As usual my mood-swing mechanism, as 'she' often calls it, kicked in and everything thereafter wasn't that pretty but yeah no one got yelled at or anything. Nothing new.
As I was saying something about the numbness thingy, my medication have been to play the song by Maroon 5 on repeat mode. I actually don't need to be so numbed this time round since the result was something that I already knew, just that this was something I have to do personally myself.
No, my world ain't going to come crashing down nor is it drastically turned into shades of dreary gray. It just isn't that colourful. I need to sterilise the memories, not eradicating them, just have to make them hold neutral feelings.
Or maybe I might opt for a lobotomy (noun : surgical interruption of nerve tracts to and from the frontal lobe of the brain; often results in marked cognitive and personality changes).
Not feeling anything now.
Saturday, October 02, 2004
SHE WILL BE LOVED
Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehowI want more
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get insecure
It doesn't matter anymore
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls
Forgot to attribute it to the band call Maroon 5.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's finally done.
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehowI want more
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get insecure
It doesn't matter anymore
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls
Forgot to attribute it to the band call Maroon 5.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's finally done.
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